I used to watch TLC.  Stacy London is strangely hot.  Trading Spaces was a fun show.  I looooved Junkyard Wars even though it was totally rigged.  But I never learned anything, per se.  And when you read the list of their shows below, I am going to guess that even though you are convinced TLC “used to be about learning” you will wonder what show you actually meant.

TLC doesn’t seem like it was ever about learning anything.  And the end of the whole thing, the punchline of the joke is Honey Boo Boo.  The little hillbilly pageant girl that seems to some to signal the end of civilization (at least until TLC finds someone who has sex with their own tumor) is sassy and her mom is weird and they do funny hillbilly things and omg look how stupid we are as a country blah blah blah.

See! Stacy London is adorable!

I never watched the show mainly because it wasn’t interesting enough to seek out and there is always something else on.  Have you seen Shipping Wars?  Good stuff.  But anyway I watched Here Comes Honey Boo Boo the other night because I happened to hit it right at the beginning.  And you know what?  It was not the end of civilization.  Are they hillbillies?  Yes. But you know what?  MOST of America is either hillbillies or stupid mom-squadders.  And if I had to pick between toe-picking coupon-using hillbilly weirdos and stupid moms who are so “busy” all the time because they think bringing their dumb kids to practice counts as “busy” I will take the hillbillies.  Hillbilly kids don’t play soccer.  Plus the little girl is funny even if some of the things are forced and made just to make well-heeled jerks feel superior and she seems like a good kid.  Plus she is SEVEN.  Seven years old.

That’s the important part here.  She is seven years old.  Now watch the video.

So a little kid blows boogers all over her face and doesn’t do what most little kids would do (wipe it on her shirt or pants)  because she knows she is on TV.  She just sits there helplessly.  She tries to suck them back up and she can’t.  She starts to cry and after a minute she finally gets up and runs away.  All of this while the camera crew sits there doesn’t help her.  Now if the mom did the same thing I would say roll that film and leave it be, but the kid is seven years old.  She doesn’t “deserve” that.  And TLC didn’t have to air it.  Even if the terrible production company made a little girl sit in a chair with boogers on her face and then edited the whole thing and left it in TLC didn’t have to air it.  So they should be punished.  Don’t watch the channel ever again.  Check out the list of shows.  Are you really going to be missing anything?   *makes “call me” gesture to Stacy London*.

10 Years Younger
17 Kids and Counting
18 Kids and Counting
19 Kids and Counting
A Baby Story
A Conception Story
A Makeover Story
A Model Life
A Wedding Story
Abby & Brittany
All-American Muslim
American Chopper
American Hot Rod
Amazing Vacation Homes
A Baby’s World
Ballroom Bootcamp
BBQ Pitmasters
Big Hair Alaska
Big Sexy
Bringing Home Baby
The Busey Bunch
Cash Cab
Cake Boss
Clean Sweep
Cover Shot
Cheese slices
Craft Wars
Dancing Tweens
Dateline Mysteries
DC Cupcakes
Extreme Cheapskates
Extreme Couponing
Fabulous Cakes
Firefight: Stories From The Frontlines
Four Weddings
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
Homemade Millionaire
Home Made Simple
Home Savvy
Honey, We’re Killing the Kids
Hoarding: Buried Alive
I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant
I Kid with Brad Garrett
In a Fix
Inedible To Incredible
Junkyard Wars
Kate Plus 8
Kennedy Home Movies
Kids By The Dozen
LA Ink
Little Chocolatiers
The Little Couple
Little People, Big World
Livin’ for the Apocalypse
Long Island Medium
Mall Cops: Mall of America
Making Over America
Miami Ink
Million Dollar Agents
Miss America Pageant (2008–2010)[1]
Moving Up
My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding
My Strange Addiction
My Unique Family
Mysteries of the ER
My 600 Pound Life
NY Ink
Next Great Baker
One Big Happy Family
On the Fly
Our Little Life
Outrageous Kid Parties
Police Women of Broward County
Police Women of Cincinnati
Police Women of Dallas
Police Women of Maricopa County
Police Women of Memphis
Property Ladder
Psychic Witness
plain jane
Quints by Surprise
Rags to Red Carpet
Sarah Palin’s Alaska
Say Yes to the Dress
Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta
Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss
Sextuplets Take New York
Sister Wives
Strange Sex
Street Customs
Surprise Homecoming
Surviving Motherhood
Table for 12
Ted Haggard: Scandalous
The Lottery Changed My Life
Toddlers & Tiaras
Trading Spaces
Take Home Chef
The Ultimate Guide
Ultimate Cake Off
Undercover Boss
Untold Stories of the ER
War and Civilization
Wedding Dress Wars
Weird Worlds
What Not to Wear
When Dinosaurs Ruled
While You Were Out
What the Sell?
Wild weddings