Bitch Falls on her Ass. Because Gravity Hates Her.

The best part of this episode was a 3 on 3 pick-up game of basketball. LaKisha, Jen, Flight Time, Big Easy, and the Cowboys broke into two teams, killing some time waiting to move on. The Bitchleaders cheered and the rest of the teams watched. Flight Time made a basket shooting the ball with the back of his neck. Gawd, the Harlem Globetrotters are awesome. Team Goth found their super cool fanny pack with their passports in an amazing and really hard to believe turn of luck. I suspect the producers stepped in on this one. They incurred a 30 min penalty for missing the flight from Japan. They decide to keep this to themselves in fear of the impending Double U turn. This strategy makes no sense because if I knew one team already had a 30 minute penalty, I’d choose another team to U turn. Keeping it to themselves is stupid; it’s actually their safety net.

They all bunched up at a flower market looking for the next clue, leading them to the Detour. The Detour choice was between solar tube installation or arranging dolls in the same order as people in a procession based on the colors of the costumes.

Apparently speaking the language isn’t as big a benny as I would think because Team Asian Father/Daughter’s cab driver brought them to the wrong cultural center, bringing half the teams with them because a pile of the non-remarkable teams just followed them like doofuses.

Team Deaf declined the Double U Turn. The Cowboys declined the Double U turn. HOLY CRAP! Team Goth U Turned the Bitchleaders RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.  HOLY CRAP IM DYING LAUGHING–WHAT ASSHOLES. The Bitchleaders tagged the Globetrotters for which I will NEVER FORGIVE THEM. The Globetrotters took it in stride like the easygoing, awesome guys they are. They nailed the extra task on the first try.

Teams next went to The Stone Forest for the Roadblock, a task 65 million years in the making. The oldest dinosaur fossils were found here. One person from each team must dig up and assemble a life sized dinosaur replica using a drawing as a guide. The Cowboys rocked it. Flight Time announced, “We passed them dirty ol redheads,” and then discussed the U Turn with one of them. Without any heat, he decided they were being mean. I agree with him.

Team Vanilla wimped out and used the Express Pass to skip the dino assembly task and the Cowboys STILL got the the Pit Stop first, snagging 5 K each. GO TEAM COWBOYS!

Big Easy rocked the dino task while Bitchleader was crying and falling on her ass. Flight Time hollered back at them, “Double U turn this!” I yelled some more colorful words. The Globetrotters came in 6th.  Double U turn that, baby!

Karma’s a bitch and it chomped the Bitchleaders hard on the ass. They were eliminated and no one is crying.

Next week: INDIA! And Deaf Boy cries like a little girl. AGAIN.