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The Blair Witch Project – 23rd Scariest Movie of All Time

This movie invented the Internet.  Well, it at least made dopes in Hollywood realize the Internet could be used to market movies.  What it didn’t do was scare me.  It was…mildly unsettling.  But it doesn’t seem like one of the 31 Scariest Movies of All Time.  It was fun that it pretended to be real and it was cute that people were fooled but where is the scare?

The end is trippy.  But trippy is not scary.  And that’s what gets me pissed about movies like this.  I sit there for an hour and a half and watch some fools fight about a map?  I could have killed all three of those fools in a map fight.

Then we move on to sticks hanging from trees.  I know, who would have thought there would be sticks near trees?!?!  The witchery part was the string!  And then the move rapidly to the end where the one creepy part happens.  So to review.  The movie didn’t scare me.  It did creep me out.  If I want to watch people argue I will film myself and the fact that the movie wasn’t true pissed me off.

On the other hand, the theater was packed when I went to see it.  And they had made a spooky tree in the theater down near the front and everyone was really excited.  And then really really mad.  Science sucks sometimes.  But the Blair Witch Project is number 23.  Trailer After the jump.


About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.

3 Comments

  1. Kenny

    The “Bare Wench Project”, was better. Possibly scarier too when you factor in the return of VIPER and another advert for Viagra starring fat Ron Jeremy. Actually that last part doesn’t actually exist yet. It is a subplot for a film I am working on right now in my head. Problem with the idea is that no one wanted to see Viper doin’ it back in the 90’s. This is a guess but I REALLY don’t think that they want to see it now…

    Reply
  2. Jenny

    I think the hype they built up around the movie before it came out was what disappointed people the most. They marketed it as a “real” event, setting up little nuggets here and there and playing those fake documentaries on TV about the Blair Witch. I remember my dad telling me, “That’s FAKE!” and I was like, “No, DAD! It’s real. How would they make a documentary of it if it was FAKE?” and he was like, “You’re an idiot and I dropped you on your head.”

    🙁 Turns out the old man was right… about everything.

    Reply
  3. Acadia

    I’d watch Bare Wench. And I think Beans being dropped is fun!

    Reply

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