The Force Awakens, for the Fans

Acadia Einstein


As everyone in this system is aware, Star Wars VII – The Force Awakens is coming out this Friday at a theater near you that is already sold out. Hard to find people who don’t have an opinion on the movie, including George Lucas.

“I think the fans are going to love it,” he said. “It’s very much the kind of movie they’ve been looking for.”

Now according to the dorks who pick this stuff apart, that was not a compliment. But then what is the SEVENTH movie in a series supposed to be? For the critics? It isn’t like these movies are based on books.

I get that Lucas had an idea for his movies. And I remember when I was a kid that we “heard” that there were supposed to be nine. But the way the six of them ended up, an extra set would have made no sense, because the first six were a complete arc for Darth Vader. Lucas, whether he wanted to or not, showed us that it was a series about Anakin. Not his kids. Not his son’s daddy issues, but rather his own. I mean, think about it. The only father Anakin had was Palpatine, right? Obi Wan was too young. So the only person who told Anakin that he mattered. And that didn’t really work out.

That said, the new movies have to pick up a new theme and run with it. What do we know so far? Well, it has a girl and a black guy as the stars. That’s the first time that has happened since. Umm. I guess that movie Lucy had ScarJo and Morgan Freeman in it, right? So yeah, since ScarJo and MorMan in Lucy.

We also know that all the people from the originals will be back. Luke, Leia, Han, maybe Lando, or that guy with the headphones who followed Lando around.


And we have seen from the trailers that it will have plenty of good old Stormtrooper versus Rebel action. Which means that we are all going to love it, right? Just like these people who were so excited for the Phantom Menace!

So on one side we have George Lucas saying it is going to be “for the fans” and the last time he made his own movies they sucked. And you add to it the fact that kids have been brainwashed by their parents to love Star Wars, and their parents were brainwashed to love Disney. Sprinkle in Disney now owning Star Wars and you have the money making prospect of a life time! Disney owning Star Wars is not fair, like if a cigarette company owning a junk food maker. Oh wait, that is already true.

So we aren’t going to be able to escape Star Wars. Don’t try. Or try to make some money off of it. You are going to go see it no matter what. Because you either have to take your kids or you don’t have any kids but are still old enough to have seen the originals when YOU were a kid. And if this is for the fans, then George Lucas can huff and puff all he wants and it doesn’t matter. Disney doesn’t make art. Disney makes money. So just give them all your money now. They will get it eventually, anyway.

I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in New York and Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Eight years and counting....


  1. Nico Toscani
    Nico ToscaniReply
    December 15, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    Han Solo dies. You’re welcome.

    • Cider
      December 16, 2015 at 10:10 am


  2. andy O
    andy OReply
    December 15, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    If this isn’t any good, I’M NOT WATCHING ANY MORE OF THEM

    until Episode 8 comes out

    • Cider
      December 16, 2015 at 10:04 am

      I don’t care what the haters say, the original trilogy is a precious part of my childhood and pop culture and I’m going to see this one and I’m going to love it and you can all suck it.

  3. Chikuba Kyojin-Shu
    December 15, 2015 at 10:55 pm

    I confess that I’m even less thrilled about the Star Trek movie. I’m sitting here on the edge of my seat waiting for The Expanse though.

    • Cider
      December 16, 2015 at 10:11 am

      I started watching that last night, it seems pretty good. I have only watched about 20 minutes of the first episode so far.

  4. Bigscrod wants cake
    December 15, 2015 at 11:18 pm

    Disney doesn’t make art? Have you even seen the fucking first ten minutes of UP? Bah. Your opinion is invalid.

    • Cider
      December 16, 2015 at 10:11 am


Let us know what you think. Being on-topic is NOT required.