That’s the new TV Wonder Woman.  Her name is something something and she looks like the kind of chick who would totally let you get to third.  Now, lots of nerds are all up in arms cause she’s wearing super pants but I can’t get past her very less than wonderful mug.  She does seem to have wonder cans but that’s not going to save the show.  Elizabeth Hurley might, but that’s not a sure thing.  And the more I think about it, the more I realize I’m not really sure what Wonder Woman even does.  Please help me by answering some or all of the following questions:

  1. People are mad that she put on pants instead of her sexy shorts.  Was she cold?  If so, does her top get cold?  If it rains, her boob cups would fill with water and I assume slow her down.
  2. Might the pants be bullet proof?  I would think not as her big deal is her bullet proof bracelets which will be handy if someone tries to shoot her wrists.  Has NOBODY ever tried just sneaking up behind her and shooting in the back?  I’m no sports medicine doctor but I would think you could NOT deflect a bullet aimed at your back with your wrist.
  3. Wait, how come nobody has just shot a million bullets at her with one of those super guns?  It really seems to me that her power is not her bulletproofness.
  4. Is her headband just a decoration?  If so, then doesn’t that just defeat the purpose of her being a Super “I Don’t Care What Anybody Thinks” Amazon?  Like – why does she need to feel pretty?  And if she DOES need to feel pretty, why not put the shorts back on?
  5. Her lasso sucks.  I know that’s not really a question but whatever.  It’s like having a magic hat or mitten in that it just needs to be on the person.  Why does it need to be a rope?  Can’t she fly?  If she can fly, why does she need the extra length of the rope?  Stupid.
  6. Wonder Woman Sucks 🙁

Wait!  After the jump is a Wonder Woman pic that may make me change my mind.  Not sure why.  Must be the shorts.

Her wrists are doomed!