Wine is an essential component of a happy, healthy life. As Martin Luther noted a looong time ago, “Who loves not wine, woman and song, remains a fool his whole life long.” I think he was on to something. A glass of wine often improves your circumstances, be they happy or sad. Don’t be a fool!

The following series of pictures illustrate for you the task facing the contractor I hire for my next house. And this isn’t even the most complicated or weird thing I’m gonna request! Don’t ask or judge, please. I’ve also included a handy reference to make choosing your wine an easier chore.

DiseaseWineDaily Dose
AllergiesMédoc1 glass
AnemiaGraves4 glasses
BronchitisBourgogne or Bordeaux
> ( + sugar and cinnamon )
3 glasses
ConstipationAnjou blanc electricity . Vouvray4 glasses
Coronary ArteriesDry Champagne4 glasses
DiarrheaBeaujolais Nouveau4 glasses
FeverChampagne sec1 bottle
HeartBurgundy , Santenay Rouge2 glasses
Uric Acid/GoutSancerre , Pouilly Fume4 glasses
HypertensionAlsace , Sancerre5 glasses
MenopauseSaint Emilion3 glasses
DepressionMédoc2 glasses
ObesityBurgundy1 bottle
Morbid ObesityRosé de Provence1/2 glass
RheumatismChampagne1 magnum
Excessive Weight LossCôte de Beaune3 bottles