I hate myself for liking this show but so far I do like it.  So to be fair to people who think this is a real, informative recap, here is how the game works.

  1. We don’t have to sit through a bunch of clowns who can’t sing and will never have a shot.  The contestants are all pre-screened and only people who can actually sing have a shot.
  2. Since the contest is about “the voice” and not “the hot person who can sort of sing” some of the contestants are from the “Susan Boyle” category of hotness.
  3. The judges sit facing away from the singer and have to go just by voice, and if they like what they hear they hit this big red button in front of their chair and spin around.
  4. If just one judge turns around, they get the person (they need eight on their team) if more than one turn around they try to convince the contestant to pick them.  If nobody picks them they go home sad.

More (and the important stuff) after the jump!

The four coaches are Cee Lo Green (his little arms are so stumpy I was afraid he would not be able to reach his button!), Adam Levine (he killed the first four Maroons!), Blake Shelton (I don’t know who that is!) and Christina Aguilera (huge jugs!).

So they all picked people that I didn’t expect and nobody picked the hot Indian chick.  They don’t have their full teams yet and I really didn’t understand how the rest of the show is going to work.  So I will assume that the coaches have to fist fight (poor Cee Lo!) and Carson Daly (the host guy) will interview crying contestants and at the end someone will win something and I will download their music illegally.

Also, I think I should disclose the fact that I fast forwarded through all of the interviews, the coaches banter and pretty much everything but actual singing.  One of those people could be my cousin and I wouldn’t know (I hope it’s the dude with the giant ‘fro).

Oh, and at the end, they said some people might get “A second chance” which hopefully means Hot Indian Chick!  Score!