See what I did there? I used the title of this year’s Song of the Year in my title about this post. That’s the kind of writing prowess that keeps the lights on around here (and keeps me penniless). And why am I writing about music? Because Prince dying + Beyonce +Adele = me all twisted up.
As everyone knows, Beyonce had an HBO special on Saturday night that everyone tweeted about and I didn’t understand. I DID however read my Twitter while playing Minecraft alone so suck on that, pop culture!
Apparently, The former Destiny’s Child star sang about her husband Jay-Z cheating on her. What? Did she not listen to any of his songs before they got married?
Nobody changes, Beyonce. You knew a guy who writes a song called “Big Pimpin’” was gonna cheat and you married him. So I am pretty sure this is just another way for you to make another billion dollars off a bunch of dummies and make me think even harder about how much I loved Prince.
Prince songs were awesome and filthy and while they might make you think, they never made you think about his life. I mean, I never listened to a Prince song and thought about anything other than how awesome Prince was. I watch some of that “Lemonade” thing and I get some millionaire tricking me into feeling bad for her!
So Prince albums are topping the charts right now (as they should be) but we still have to look forward to new music and how it is going to make me sad. Let’s take a look at the odds for who will have the most #1 singles this year. How many of them are female artists who learned to write songs by listening to Alanis Morissette when they were young and deciding that every page of their tear-streaked diaries would make good songs, too?
Right off the bat I see Bey, Adele, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I include the aging rockers because “Under the Bridge” was about poor Anthony Keidis feeling sad about when he did drugs or something. But you didn’t know that right away. It was subtle. Being subtle matters. Like Nicki Minaj. And Cyndi Lauper.
I have a friend who HATES knowing anything about celebrities. That whole “Celebrities, they’re just like us!” thing would be the LAST thing she would ever read because she doesn’t care. She looks at performers as performers and that’s it. So she will never even wonder about how Prince died.
She also likes very little new music. Wonder why? Well, a lot of it is because you can’t listen to some people’s songs without knowing it is just basically “what happened to me last week when I went through a breakup” with a catchy hook. Blurring those lines between personal and professional turns some people off. Obviously, based on the odds, there are precious few people who feel that way, but they do exist. Sorry, friend. You will just have to keep listening to Prince. You could do a lot worse.