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Top Chef All Stars – I didn’t know them

Sniper Monkey got two of them tonight.

So tonight’s Top Chef All Stars really didn’t do anything for me.  Since I’m still pissed that Sweet Dee sucked last week and got sent home I really was hoping someone would get splattered with hot grease or the chick from What Not to Wear would show up to save Padma from her ridiculous outfits.  But instead I got chefs drooling over other chefs and trying to copy their fool recipes and having a “mise en place” race.

For you uncultured dummies, “mise en place” refers to when people peel a bunch of potatoes like Beetle Bailey.  So they did that and then they all split up and went to different  restaurants and needed to copy the style of the one they ate at.  None of them were Wendy’s.  The winner was Dale who made come sort of runny egg dumpling soup (not kidding) and the two people who got kicked out were the Dandy and the Sort of Ape Looking Dude.

A word of advice.  If I have a cooking show and you make me anything with runny egg yolk, you will lose.  You could serve me runny egg yolk wrapped in a blow job and I would still eliminate you.  Hate egg yolks.  ARGH.  And now since I was not interested in any way about anything in this episode, I’m gonna finish off this post with a big-ass pic of the chick from What Not to Wear.  I dig her streak of white hair and how she promised me to make all my yolks hard forever.  Why can’t you all be more like her?

Is it me or are her shoulders REALLY straight?

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.


  1. vange

    She has eerily straight and broad shoulders, yes. And fantastic eyebrows!

    • Acadia

      I also have fantastic eyebrows.

  2. sangfroid

    Living down south is ruining Acadia.

    Jesco White should be the judge of Top Chef

    • Acadia

      I saw the words “sloppy eggs” and clicked back here right away. You bastard.

      • sangfroid

        don’t make me post a transcript with them salami eggs in it!

  3. Biz

    Well, at least Fabio made the cut. I think it was just for entertainment purposes because to me it sounded like they just ripped his food more than all the others while eating it. Soooo! Did you see the bravo show afterward with the guy that hosts all the reunions? Collechio (sp?) was on it. JEN called in! She stood by her dish & Collechio still said it was the right call. It might have been, but when he was asked about that bitch who can’t use a knife & cut her finger & need a tranquilizer & two whole stitches, he gave her what amounts to immunity because he couldn’t grade her on the food. Fuck that. The bitch got out of being judged because she can’t use a fucking knife? FFS. Jen was robbed. Robbed!! So, new All-Stars strategy, if the challenge is tough, cut your finger & get immunity!

    • Acadia

      I hate the hobbit that cut her finger. HATE her.

  4. Cornmeal

    Sniper monkey is kinda freaking me out.

    • Acadia

      Sniper monkey is going to be around for a long time. He might even get his own post!

  5. Biz

    Soooooo, who’s it gonna be tonite?


  6. Acadia

    Fabio 🙁


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