I really thought that this was Fabio’s week to win something.  He’s made for restaurant wars.  Suave. Good at talking to people.  Charming.  The kind of Italian guy you think is nice instead of the run around his apartment yelling at his wife who burnt the steak like Robert DeNiro in Raging Bull kind.  Suave, Fabio has it all.  Oh, and when they liked the dessert he made I remembered it was a cooking show.  Gosh that Fabio is suave.

Anyway – the theme of the episode was “Marcel is a weasel and Marcel sucks and anyone who is on a team with Antonia is in danger and also Marcel is a dick weasel who sucks.”  And in the fine tradition of the producers of this show telegraphing their punches, Marcel who picked Antonia for his team was a dick during restaurant wars and got eliminated.  More details and some hot sexy action after the jump!

I don’t have any hot sexy action, though I did have an idea while I was watching Bravo to do a thing where we figure out which of the “Real Housewives” is the most bangable.  I’ll probably work on that this weekend.  Mid Post Update! I expanded the housewife idea at the end of this post.  So yay for having a commercial for something in the middle of something else.  I’m like TV!

Anyway – as far as the Top Chef thing goes, Marcel looked like Heat Miser and put foam on everything.  I know that I’m not Mister High Society (I prefer Hustler, the workin’ man’s magazine) but I do know that a properly executed foam is not something I would want to eat.  I don’t eat the head off of my beer, and if I did it would taste like beer, not the weird shit Marcel makes.  So fuck foam and fuck him.  I don’t know what he charges in his restaurant for foam but it better be 1/2 off.  It’s bubbles for fuck’s sake.  If I got a beer and it was all foam I would send it back.  I really don’t know anything about foam except the beer thing.  Sigh.

Anyway, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more lopsided restaurant wars in the history of the relatively few seasons of the show I’ve watched.  One team had a bunch of dipshits looking out for themselves and the other team had a well-oiled machine of professionals who helped each other, cooked good food and then had that charming Fabio out front being charming.  And suave.  Damn he’s suave.

And watch out for that Hot Housewife thing.  I’m going for it.  If you want to nominate yourself, send me pics of yourself and I’ll put you in the rotation.  What the hell do I care?  I don’t watch the shows.  You can tell me you’re Hillary Clinton and I’ll believe you.  But don’t you dare serve me foam.  Don’t you goddamn dare.