Totally Accurate Battle Simulator – WE NEED THIS!

Acadia Einstein

Pokemon Go has taken over the imaginations of America and given people who think they are clever a way to say Michelle Obama failed to get kids active where a video game succeeded.  Way to go.  You created a bunch of kids that will only go outside if there is a video game involved.

Not that there is anything wrong with video games.  Like Totally Accurate Battle Simulator.  There is nothing to do outside, but the people in the game are outside.  And they are made of clay and you can make them fight each other.  I mean you make ARMIES of them fight each other.  As far as I can tell, you  choose your side, choose your weapons and then let it go.  I assume I would always be the red team and based on the videos below I will be choosing chickens as weapons.  I think they are chickens.  Not the cannon, though.  You can’t shoot a single person with a cannon.  At least not on purpose.  It’s nonsense and I won’t entertain the thought.  Sign up for the beta at that link up there, then come tell me you have the game so we can fight or I can whine that I don’t have an invite yet.  GO RED!

I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in New York and Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Eight years and counting....


  1. Acadia Einstein
    July 14, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    Day one – still not invited to the alpha

    • Sangfroid
      July 14, 2016 at 2:44 pm

      This is sick and disgusting. I may have to start playing. I’m going to feed my chickens lead pellets and shoot them at your guys with the catapult.

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