Trigger is for Sale

Categories:LOLZ
Sangfroid

Trigger is for sale. If you’re not 87 years old or that punk girl who got TCM tattooed on her ass, that’s movie cowboy Roy Rogers’ horse. Old Roy had his pony stuffed in 1965. He had his dog Bullet stuffed, too. You get the impression that Roy would have Dale stuffed and put on display if she’d died first. You don’t know who Dale Evans is either? Christie’s says that Roy and Dale were the Brad and Angelina of their day. No wonder the Roy and Dale Museum in Branson went under; no one can stop talking about Brad and Angelina. Angelina is a freak. I’m sure she’s made plans to have Brad freeze dried in Sweden for their Branson museum. Who knows–his acting might improve.

Maybe Lady Gaga went to Branson and got the idea for her new show by looking at Trigger and Bullet? She’s teaming up with Gunther Von Hagens. The scientist who brought us the Body Worlds exhibition where real human bodies are flayed and put on display is working on a design for Lady Gaga’s Vegas show, Monster Ball. That’s right–preserved human bodies on stage with Lady Gaga. It makes stuffing your pets seem normal.

Head down to Christies in Manhattan for the big auction. The doorman is in a Roy Rogers suit with a guitar and they have hay scattered around for that country feel. If you don’t want a stuffed horse in your living room, go for Roy’s 1964 Bonneville convertible. Roy’s pimped out lowrider has collectible silver dollars glued all over it and its door handles and gear shift were replaced with silver-plated pistols. Look, Christie’s needs your support: Michael Jackson is dead so selling a stuffed horse isn’t a sure bet anymore.

Author:
Sangfroid's unabashed use of punctuation and grammar has made him a literary standout on the internet. A rising star in the urban/romance/horror/science fiction/Nancy Drew fiction market, Sangfroid is the talk of the local McDonald's. His dog actually ate the first page of his magnum opus "That Foggy Night" and compared it to other great works like the weekly circular for its absorbent qualities.

11 Comments

  1. David Sobkowiak
    July 12, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    Put Howdy Doody up for sale and I’m in. None of that horse hair shedding stuffed Trigger for me! Maybe of Eva Perón’s corpse was still floating around…

    • sangfroid
      sangfroidReply
      July 16, 2010 at 8:46 pm

      Just when I think I know every trivial detail in the world I learn that Eva Peron’s body has been embalmed in such a way to resist fire and bombing. I hear her sister has the key to the Duarte family death bunker. (It was built by a company that makes bank vaults)

      I do not still have General Peron’s hands. I gave them to Acadia.

  2. Patrick
    July 12, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    All I can think of is Christie’s flogging the dead horse here.. I mean come on.. who wants this stuff anymore?

  3. Jenny Beans
    July 12, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    Roy and Dale were huge to me growing up. My Nana was a big fan of Roy Rogers, and I remember watching the Muppet Show with them on with her and listening to her reminisce. If she were still alive today, I bet she’d buy that damn thing.

    • sangfroid
      sangfroidReply
      July 16, 2010 at 8:47 pm

      You know he stuffed Trigger in 1965. What did she think of that Jenny?

  4. James Melzer
    July 12, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    Damn, now I know what to do with my penis after I die.

    • sangfroid
      sangfroidReply
      July 12, 2010 at 5:45 pm

      James was that go on postmortem tour with Lady Gaga or have your body freeze dried in Sweden where it’s legal?

  5. Acadia
    AcadiaReply
    July 12, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    I bid seven dollars for Lady Gaga.

  6. Sparkle
    July 12, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    Gawd. I hope my human doesn’t stuff me after I’m gone. I do NOT want to be auctioned off by Christies. Ever.

    • sangfroid
      sangfroidReply
      July 13, 2010 at 10:39 am

      The latest thing is freeze drying. In Sweden you can do it on humans. In the USA and elsewhere it’s just for pets.

      http://www.perpetualpet.net/Gallery/

      In my opinion that is just creepy and disrespectful. I didn’t include it in the articles because…..well it’s creepy and disrespectful. You know there are some people that would have Uncle Fred sitting in the rocker with kitty on his lap.

  7. Penny
    PennyReply
    November 1, 2010 at 9:40 am

    cremation, the only way to be sure.

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