Please - hurry. I feel my blood moving too easily through my arteries.
I need someone to make me turtle burgers. I know that sounds like some kind of thing you’d find on Urban Dictionary, but it isn’t. It’s a real thing, and according to the picture, at least one person must have made it. So that means you can. I have a kitchen full of things like ketchup and half-eaten supermarket rotisserie chickens. But it’s Sunday and I really want something special, so come on over and help me out. Here’s the recipe.
Turtle Burger Recipe
- Handmade ground beef patties, topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave.
- Add hotdogs as the heads, legs with slits for toes and tail.
- Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil and baked for 20-30 minutes at 400 degrees.
- A little crispy, not too crunchy…just how a turtle should be, no?
That doesn’t sound too hard, does it? Plus you get to come to my house and see my Hugh Hefner smoking jacket. Oh! And also I have a TV and all my clothes are dirty, which is why I’m just wearing the smoking jacket. Oh please help me. Without Turtle Burgers I won’t make it.*
*I’ll probably make it, but I’ll have to eat pepper and juice from a plastic lemon. 🙁
The Shredder Special
All three food groups are represented here! I love it!
My daughter would love to make these.
Just go out and catch a real turtle…they aren’t very fast, so I think you are up to it.
I think there is something wrong with your related posts buttons.
Thank you for immediately giving the recipe and thus preventing me from vomiting on my computer keyboard. I really thought you were referring to actual ground up turtle burgers at first. Although I’m sure such delicacies exist, most likely in the swamps and bayous of Louisiana, I’d sure hate to have to actually SEE one.
I’m just a sheltered city gal, I guess. Turtles are the creatures that race hares in fairy tale books where I come from. We NEVER eat them. Well, hell, we can’t ever find any! 😉
@loolpooq – You can come over and have some if we get someone to make them
@jethro – I forgot to mention that they can only be eaten while sitting in a chair made out of marshmallows that you later must eat.
@Nicole – I assume that your daughter is like, 5 and thus this is an insult. Which I am fine with if you make them for both her and me.
@VetTech – It’s not the speed that thwarts me, it’s their cunning. They outwit me. 🙁 Also – YOUR related posts buttons have something wrong with them.
@The Fitness Diva – I’m sort of surprised you didn’t just burst into flame when you saw the bacon!
Hugh Hefner smoking jacket? Acadia, you stud. You sure know how to tempt a girl into coming over and making Turtle burgers for you.
I’m scared. Those turtle burgers tried to eat me!
I wonder if you could basket weave bacon and cheese around a whole burger without the hot dogs? It would definitely put me in the hospital and probably catch the grill on fire but it might be worth it.
I see no one volunteered, so I’ll come make ’em for you. I don’t have to eat them though.
you’re gonna grow FAT anyway……..
There are so many possibilities in this world, Capt Crazy, but that is NOT one of them.