Don’t get me wrong, the finale of The Walking Dead was outstanding. It had action. It set up an arc for next year and it managed to be satisfying while still leaving like a MILLION questions open. And every single click bait prediction post I saw was wrong. I don’t want to spoil anything for you DVR jerks but I will say that if you weren’t happy with it, you haven’t really given any thought to the following spoilery bullet points after the jump!
- Thank god we can count on Ass-kicking Rick next season instead of Crazy Rick or Farmer Rick or Hauntingly Efficient Rick. I want next season to be full of fighting and revenge and weird characters. Like Woodbury but not crappy.
- Useless Carl may become the monster we all want him to be. If I could have my way, Carl would have waited around until Lizzy was legal (or whatever passes for legal in the apocalypse) and made horrifying monster kids together. And Carol would have looked upon them and smiled.
- We still don’t know who the hell put the blonde girl in the car and drove away. Seems sort of stupid that there are zombies all over the place and we still need to worry about people stealing white girls.
- Carol and Tyrese need to find all those guns Rick buried and start blasting people.
- Why was there a basketball court full of bloody spines at Terminus? I mean, if they are eating people then why are they keeping the bones? I will be super disappointed if the whole Terminus camp doesn’t have a giant rib cage xylophone concert next year.
- If Eugene really is a super scientist then perhaps he will be able to think them out of the train car. Most trains have hatches in the roof (like elevators) so maybe they should start there.
- Speaking of “A”, if they spend any longer than two episodes next year in that stupid train car I will shoot someone. UNLESS they specifically deal with the fact that people need to poop even if they are all stuck in a train car.
- Why does Terminus have so much water? Ethan or whatever his name was had a clean-shaven face. That’s the sort of thing people with lots of water do. Lots of HOT water. Do train stations need a lot of water? Do they have one of those tanks like in the cowboy movies?
OK so since by the time the next season comes out everyone will have forgotten this I predict that Carol and Tyrese will save them from Terminus and that I would watch the show if it was just Rick, Carl, Michonne and Darryl. Why? Because I loved the Dark Tower books. And the ringleader, the archer, the samurai and the kid are every bit as much a ka-tet as Roland, Jake, Eddie and Susannah ever were. They’re in a world that has moved on, no?
I honestly think Walking Dead is the worst show ever foisted on us, and it starts with that douchebag Rick, and his shitty stage Southern accent. Damn limeys mouths don’t work right for that accent.
I want to hit every last one of these idiots with a shovel.
Every last one of these actors deserve to have at least one of their kidneys stolen.
You just made yourself a suspect, Jack!
Real southern accents suck, too. Cali accents are, like, totally the only good accents.
I don’t know if I have ever heard a real California accent unless Fast Times at Ridgemont High counts.
I’m ignoring the crazy person who claims this show sucks because I love it so much even when it makes me angry – like the whole entire time Andrea was on screen – and I will tell you all that I super highly recommend the comics because the two stories are now completely different so you can’t even think the comics will spoil the show. It’s different in a lot of ways but also great.
I am dying to know what the eff was up with that creepy room full of candles and weirdness.