Not just for all the obvious reasons but also because she is all nervous about seeing stupid Brad Pitt.  The poor thing.  She is hiring a “Confidence Coach”.

Jennifer Aniston is so scared of facing her ex-husband Brad Pitt and his partner Angelina Jolie, that she has reportedly hired a ‘confidence coach’ for help.

After many years of successfully avoiding any public run-ins, former couple Aniston and Pitt may finally be facing each other at common friend George Clooney’s wedding.

According to Enstars, Aniston is quite scared of humiliating herself in case she runs into her ex-husband and Jolie at the star-studded ceremony.

A few thoughts.

  1. The next time you think millionaires don’t have real problems, think about how Jennifer is worried about seeing Brad and Angelina and George’s wedding and maybe you will have some empathy.  Or maybe it will make you even more mad about millionaires and force you to throw a trashcan full of flaming tar through a bank window.  I’m fine with whatever you do.
  2. I saw World War Z not too long ago, and Brad Pitt really is pretty handsome, but sheesh.  But it isn’t like Jennifer is some schlump.  If it was reversed and the girl equivalent of Brad Pitt left the guy equivalent of Jennifer Aniston for the guy equivalent of Angelina Jolie I bet whoever the guy was would be all:  OK, I am still the guy version of Jennifer Aniston.
  3. I am seriously pissed that I didn’t think of becoming a “confidence coach”.  That is so much easier than being a life coach.  The confidence coach doesn’t even care if you succeed.  She just has to make you feel like you can.  THAT is a sweet gig.
  4. You don’t see Billy-Bob Thornton whining all over the place.
  5. I don’t know of any Angelina Jolie movie that I like but We’re the Millers is awesome.  So there’s some confidence for ya, Jen!

I guess my main take-away from this is that if I were Jennifer, I would not take whatever loser guy she is going to marry to George Clooney’s wedding.  She should take me.  And since nobody would have a CLUE who I am she could say I am anything she wants.  “Why yes, Brad.  I AM the president of the moon.”  *pops collar and puts bubble pipe in mouth*

Top that, Mister Hollywood.