Acadia reviews all the good TV shows so what is there left for the peons like me to talk about? Well, this isn’t 1979 and there are more than thirteen channels of shit on the TV to chose from Pink. Let’s roll the random number generator and hit the remote. *drumroll* and the result is………Look-A-Like. I can’t get an old episode of Babylon 5 or one of the forty channels with Dr. Phil? Just my luck.

“Watch the sensational head-to-toe makeovers led by top celebrity stylists. Paul Venoit makes up each face like only a top Hollwood make-up artist can. Jeffrey Altenburg cuts, dyes and styles with the latest looks that the celebs are wearing. Then Alissia Marciano dresses each look-a-like in the hottest and hippest fashions out there. Following the unbelievable transformations, the look-a-likes are captured on camera by celebrity photographer Richard Sibbald making each shot magazine cover worthy!”

Okay, they take some normal person and rebuild them to look like a Hollywood star. All I can think of is LA. Confidential where the hookers improve their business by making themselves look like the stars. The plot twist is, of course, that once you know it’s all makeup and hair, you can’t tell the difference between a real star and a hooker.

Ed Exley: Shut up! A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker.
Johnny Stompanato: Hey!
Ed Exley: She just looks like Lana Turner.
Jack Vincennes: She *is* Lana Turner.
Ed Exley: [stunned] What?
Jack Vincennes: She *is* Lana Turner.
[Lana throws a drink in Ed’s face]

I’m not getting into the mood of this thing, Celebrity makeover! I want to look like someone who’s cool and sexy and gets interviewed by Joan Rivers on the red carpet. Who do I look like? Let’s go to the Celebrity look-a-like page. After it gets done hijacking my homepage and raping my search engine it says  I look like Ernest Borgnine.  Reboot, Let’s say Lady Gaga wants to look like a celebrity. The app says she looks like Daniela Pestova or Johnny Dep  (I noticed that Lady Gaga doesn’t appear on the celebs that look like Lady Gaga. I was worried about that Ernest Borgnine thing) We’ve got a winner let’s send her over to hair.

“Baby you’ve just had too many bad dye jobs but we’re going to make you look WONDERFUL.” Apparently it’s a cardinal sin to dye your own hair or trim your own bangs. Still, he does great hair. He makes my gay hair stylist look straight; he must charge a fortune for hair styling.

Lady Gaga is in curlers on to makeup.

“Sweetie I just love Daniela Pestova. She’s got all this gold. She’s gold all over.” Not being privy to the arcane art of makeup, I’m assuming that the sixteen different gold highlights he’s troweling on are the height of the makeup stylist’s art. He does a great job. The girl is glowing when he’s done. He however makes the hair stylist look straight.

On to the clothes.

“We’re gonna turn you into a fashionista!” It’s time to dish over the rags with a real girl. Once Lady Gaga is stuffed into whatever costume that the star was wearing last week it’s back to the guys for some catty comments. Did you know Scarlett Johansson is using bust enhancing tops? *gasp* I thought she had pretty good natural cleavage. Poor Lady Gaga has to stand there with her inadequate breasts* while the comments are being made but hey she looks like Johnny Depp now and her old boring self has been left behind.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m being hard on the show. I always pick the before pictures on these makeover shows but then again I’ve never wanted to be someone else.

Disclaimer – I don’t personally think Lady Gaga’s breasts are inadequate. WikiAnswers says 34A