Why doesn’t someone make a theme restaurant of Arnold’s?  I mean, how much could it cost?  A pinball machine, a bunch of Wisconsin crap on the walls, and maybe 10 tables.  I guess it will probably be tough to make a lot of money doing things that way.  Either you have to make people eat really fas or charge $35.00 for a burger and fries.

Oh, and if you don’t have a Japanese guy to pretend to be Arnold you can’t have a franchise.  Screw “Al”.  He was barely racist.  Mario from Nintendo is a more racist character than Al.  Maybe making Arnold run around like Charlie Chan’s more squinty cousin made them rethink their strategy.  Then again, Arnold taught the Karate Kid how to do Karate and sounded the same.  So perhaps after he lost his business he lost his smile and learned to fight?  Wait.  Wasn’t Arnold supposed to be Chinese?  Shit people were racist back then.  I think this is how it all went:

TV Guy 1:  OK so the place the gang hangs out in hasto be names Arnold’s.  Who runs it?

TV Guy 2:  How ’bout a Chinaman?

TV Guy 1:  Perfect!  That’s comedy.  Call that one Chinaman we know.

TV Guy 2:  *calls Pat Morita*  Uh huh…ok…one sec.  *covers phone* He’s not a Chinaman.  He’s a Jap!

TV Guy 1:  Who cares?  Nobody’s gonna know the difference.

TV Guy 2: Hey Pat.  You mind playing a Chinaman?  Really?  That’s great!  You’re one OK Jap!

TV Guy 1:  What did he say?

TV Guy 2:  He said he hates the Chinks so he’s all for it.

TV Guy 1:  Great.  Now all we need is to cast the hoodlum.  And we can’t use a black guy.  If you have a cool black guy you have to have the whole show about black guys.  If you only have one black guy he has to be a one-off in an episode about racism OR a wise-cracking “brother” who has a menial job.

TV Guy 2:  How about an Italian?  They are the black people of white people!

TV Guy 1:  Perfect.  But don’t get a real Italian.  They all have mobster friends.  That thing in “The Godfather” with the horse head was about Frank Sinatra, you know.  Get a Jew.  They are just as oily but they know their place.

TV Guy 2:  This show is gonna be great!

I forgot what the song was.  Find out with me, won’t you?  Video and Lyrics after the jump.  As is a pic of Mrs. Cunningham (Marion Ross) giving a cop the finger!

Marion Ross Giving a Cop the Finger

Weezer – Buddy Holly

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kemivUKb4f4

Whats with these homies dissing my girl?
Why do they gotta front?
What did we ever do to these guys that made them so violent?

Oooo Oooo!
But ya know I’m yours,
Oooo Oooo!
And I know your mine.
Oooo Oooo!
And that’s why-i-i-i!

Ooo wee ooo, I look just like Buddy Holly,
Oh oh, and you’re Mary Tyler Moore.
I don’t care what they say about us anyway.
I don’t care about that.
Verse 2-

Don’t you ever fear, I’m always there,
I know that you need help.
Your tongue is twisted, your eyes are slit,
You need a Guardian.

Oooo Oooo!
And you know I’m yours,
Oooo Oooo!
And I know your mine.
Oooo Oooo!
And that’s why-i-i-i!

Ooo wee ooo, I look just like Buddy Holly,
Oh oh, and you’re Mary Tyler Moore.
I don’t care what they say about us anyway.
I don’t care about that.
I don’t care about that.

Bang Bang! Knocking on the door. Another bang bang get down on the floor.
Oh no, what do we do? Don’t look now, but I lost my shoe.
I can’t run and I can’t kick. Wussa matta babe? Are you feeling sick?
Wussa matta wussa matta wussa matta you?
Wussa matta babe? Are you feeling blue! Oh-ohhhh.

Ooo wee ooo, I look just like Buddy Holly,
Oh oh, and you’re Mary Tyler Moore.
I don’t care what they say about us anyway.
I don’t care about that.
I don’t care about that.
I don’t care about that.
I don’t care about that.