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Welcome to Michael Bay C*ckpunching Your Childhood

dear god mind bleach

If you were fortunate enough to grow up in the 1980’s, you know how completely weird awesome the cartoon icons of your childhood were.  Saturday mornings were spent in a Sugar Smacks-fueled haze of Ghostbusters, G.I. Joe, He-Man, and whatever the hell the Snorks were. Then 1987 arrived and brought us ten seasons of animated mutant turtles who used ninjutsu to fight crime and trans-dimensional aliens. Yes, everything was copacetic until 2007, when Michael Bay decided to rape all your nostalgia holes by making three and a half more Transformers movies than anyone ever asked for, inflicting Shia LaBeouf on the world and paving the way for his latest live action(ish) abomination.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCjsWpM9zFU

But then again, Megan Fox is playing April O’Neil.

Megan Fox.

Megan Fox on the Counter Hot Ass

So, uh…carry on?

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6 Comments

  1. Nico Toscani

    Baysplosions!

    Reply
  2. Cornmeal

    I’m sure this thing is going to have plenty of spectacle going for it, just like all Bay movies do. But yeah, he doesn’t care what established cannon says. And when the hordes show up for his bastardizing, it’s pretty clear that they don’t either. Oh well. Whatever puts a smile on people’s faces, I suppose. I’ll stick with the originals or the version currently showing on Nick, which is excellent.

    Reply
    • Eva Halloween

      They are alien turtles with lips in this version. Lips!

      Reply
  3. choofabulous

    Even my 5 year old said “that does not look cool” when he saw the trailer. …and he is a TMNT expert…

    Reply
    • Eva Halloween

      Well, yeah…with a sexy ninja turtle for a mom….

      Reply

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