You have to admire Dame Judi Dench. She is unquestionably one of Britain’s finest actors, the woman brought in a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for eight minutes of screen time in Shakespeare in Love, but hates to be thought of as a National Treasure. She’s confessed to peeking at co-star Bob Hoskins¬† when he did his nude scene in Mrs. Henderson Presents and done a topless Titania herself (it was 1968). With an entire career like that why discuss her needlework?

According to Matthew MaFayden, Dame Dench occupies her down time on set by creating rude embroidery.

“She is doing this beautifully, intricate, ornate (work). You kind of see the work materializing as the shoot goes on. Like: ‘You Are a F*cking Shit.” Keira Knightly, who never got her “you are a C*nt” embroidered cushion, says: “Oh, that’s so nice! It’s Judi Dench. It’s so quaint; she’s embroidering a cushion,’ and you go: ‘What are you embroidering?’ And (it says): ‘F*ck!’ Apparently she’s got hundreds of them just covered in swear words or rude sayings.”

If you think a Dame of the Empire should be more respectable just recall my favorite Judi anecdote about when she was almost run over crossing a street in London. While she was still regaining her composure the driver rolled down his window to yell at her “Keep out of the way you c*nt!”¬† She yelled back, “That’s DAME C*nt to you!”

Oh yeah you have to admire Dame Judi Dench.

Dame Judi thinking on her next cross stitch project.