Cris and Geno "examine" the mountain lion.  It was asleep at the time.  Not fake.  Asleep.

Cris and Geno “examine” the mountain lion. It was asleep at the time. Not fake. Asleep.

This was the first week that I was genuinely baffled by the murder.  I didn’t really think that the lion did it, but I had no idea what DID happen until they did all the clues and whatever.  So I guess one could say the show is actually doing what it is supposed to be doing.  It kept me guessing.  And considering the way things panned out, now I am more convinced that I am going to ride the Geno train all the way to the end as he is definitely not the killer (and I am pretty sure I know who is).  Here’s the segment of the recap I like to call the BITTLES BREAKDOWN:

  1. Poor Don was super dead and I was hoping he would last longer so I was disappointed.  But my theory from last week that the slow people were going to lose is in trouble.
  2. Giles shot the mountain lion with a tranquilizer dart and dressed like Van Pelt from Jumanji for the rest of the episode.
  3. The teams were definitely etched in stone when Kam, Ulysses and Cris (the pretty ones) told the other ones (the non pretty ones) to take a hike.
  4. Lindsey, the human skull face who was playing both sides, got stuck with Team Kam, lowering their prettiness quotient.
  5. Cris and Lindsey eavesdropped on the other team while they were discussing the fact that the murder was connected to the STOVE instead of the lion.
  6. Geno tried to convince Kam to team up for one day and get rid of Lindsey.  Kam didn’t go for it.
  7. Geno solved the riddle (the killer rigged a thing to spit cyanide out of the stove which killed Don) and told his team but only told Kam a little bit of it. That was part of his point 5 plan.
  8. Kam thought Don had a heart attack.  He was the wrongest of all the wrongs possible.  Terrible.  He might as well have guessed that an ant with a sword killed him.
  9. Kam and Ulysses got scared cards.
  10. Giles the butler said he got a call from the Killer.  You could tell because the Killer was in his contacts on his phone as “The Killer”.
  11. The phone call was a message using everyone’s voices to claim they were the killer and that they were going to kill everyone blah blah.  But if someone in the room was the killer who made the call????????
  12. They all had to go to the stables the next morning.  Something spooked the horses and one of the Scared people slumped in the saddle.  Then the horse fell over.  So I know who died.  Find out who AND my new theory after the jump!

Oh, but before I give you my theory – here is a Horse Head Harlem Shake.  Since the murder was all horsey this week.

OK so Ulysses died.

Ulysses-Dead

I think Kam is the killer.  His heart attack theory was so dumb that I think he is just throwing suspicion off of himself.  Other people seem to think the same thing which means they are copying me.  But if it isn’t Kam I assume it is Giles because he can just go get guns and Van Pelt outfits so he is really the only one with the ability to cook all of this up.

Or I am totally wrong.  But whatevs.  It is still fun.  And Ulysses wore flip flops the entire episode so I didn’t like him anyway.