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Why can’t I just make shit up?

Jane Kransky Reporting, Eyewitness News 5.  I hate my job.

Jane Kransky Reporting, Eyewitness News 5. I hate my job.

So someone inthe Batcave posted a link to a site that repeated a story posted by some other site about Sarah Michelle Gellar making a Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie.  So after my boner went away (come back!) I decided to actually read the “story”.  And yes, those quotation marks mean I find it dubious.  And I am not linking the “source” because it is made up bullshit.

 

Sarah Michelle Gellar is reportedly in talks to reprise her role as Buffy the Vampire Slayer – for a movie.

The 31-year-old actress ended her role as Buffy in 2003 after a seven-year run.

Now the feisty character could be making a return on the big screen.

An insider says, “There is an idea for a script and to pick the story up with Buffy older and maybe even a mother.

“Michelle is busy with movie projects at the moment but she is excited about the idea. Buffy still has a huge fan-base so this is a movie that already has an audience.

“Michelle is a shrewd businesswoman so the chances are this will happen at some point.”

Corrected as per comments.

 

Corrected as per comments?  What could the comments have corrected?  Her age?  There is nothing but made up shit in that story and I want to know how you dumb asses who read celebrity sites can fall for it?  At least Brandon at Tyler Durden admits he doesn’t know anything.  These other people with their “news” are making me mad.  Unless I can get in on it.  So try these on for size:

  • Sources claim that aging superstar Sylvester Stallone has taken to injecting himself with the blood of young Nacaraguans to “try to stay young.”  Stallone could not be reached for comment and the Nicaraguan consulate does not seem to have their phone number on the Internet.
  • The latest from the set of the new Liam Neeson movie is that Neeson is sad that his wife recently died.
  • Lyingasswebsite.com is reporting that the new Batman movie will feature George W. Bush as the Penguin and Bill Clinton as Mr. Freeze.

All I would need to do is sprinkle some actual facts around the crap sentence that is the headline of the ‘news item’ and voila!  A real celebrity site!  Fuck that.  If I am going to make stuff up, I am going to make everything up.  Including the names of the celebrities.  I may even invent new states.  I’ll show you all.

Edit:  Also – apparently it is National Penis day in Japan.  At least they have pictures…

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.

4 Comments

  1. Biterz

    yea doesn’t seem plausible. a show canceled 6 years ago, a star who’s career has gone no where since, a show creator/writer/director who has yet to recreate the show’s sucess, a cast who for the most part hasn’t done shit since, and a large number of ridiculously loyal fans.

    just doesn’t seem possible.

    Reply
  2. Hotspur

    You don’t know!

    Reply
  3. Acadia

    Why don’t you guys have gravatars?

    Reply
  4. johnny rocks

    I’m trying to picture the reaction here in the states to a penis day celebration.

    Reply

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