So this incredibly creepy guy who writes “advice” columns for men on “how to get women” which sound much more like “how to stalk women and prepare to murder them” is getting some s*** on Twitter, thank goodness.
*How to Harass Women Who Don’t Want to Be Approached
This is scary & dangerous. Male-entitlement + hypermasculinity pic.twitter.com/tsFRE40hku
— Brandon Evers (@BrandonEvrs) August 29, 2016
There have been a lot of great tweets and commentary in response but let me tell you what actually goes through my mind, as a woman, if I have my headphones in and I am out for a run, commuting on the train, walking down the street, or just sitting on a bench trying to enjoy my life. And then I’ll give you a real life example of why I know I never want to take my headphones out to talk to a strange man who is talking to me while I have them in. My possible thoughts if you try to talk to me with headphones in:
- Oh. Really? This guy is really trying to talk to me right now? He can clearly see I have headphones in. Is he drunk? Crazy? An a$$hole? Does he have a legitimate need? Maybe he needs directions. Should I check? Probably not.
- Oh f**** this guy right in his face. Nope.
- Die in a fire.
- I’m going to pretend I can’t see him even though I just looked right at him. Yep. Didn’t see.
- How high is my anger level right now? Do I want to teach this guy a lesson? Yes, yes I do. OK, bucko, let’s do this.
There is no reason, no reason on earth, unless you have an actual medical or other emergency, why you, men, should ever demand that a strange woman you don’t know, take her headphones off and speak with you. She owes you nothing at all. You don’t have the right to request her attention. She clearly has them in for one or more reasons, those reasons probably include not wanting to interact with strangers. It is my birthright to not have to talk to any of you monsters if I don’t want to. That’s a fact, look it up. I’m pretty sure it’s in the constitution.
Now, here is a story about what happened the last time a man talked to me with my headphones in and I took them out. Given, this guy was not trying to hit on me (note: if you are approaching complete strangers with headphones in to hit on them, you’re doing it wrong, you’re a douche, I want nothing to do with you, ever), but even so, my point is valid – this is what happens when women take their headphones off and engage with strange men. I’ll just cut and paste the email I sent my friends about this interaction the other day on my way to a doctor’s appointment. Clearly I should have left my headphones in.
Subject: WELP I almost just killed a man by throwing him off his bike and into traffic
I literally wanted to kill him. Does that make me an actual psychopath?
Here is the story. I had to leave the office for a dr apptmt. I am walking around the s****y rotary at Sullivan Sq by my office. This guy rides up behind me on his bike on the sidewalk. Already a no. He kind of rudely asks/tells me to get out of his way, so now we’re in a fight. I say without pausing “you’re not supposed to ride your bike on the sidewalk”. He stops dead and goes “What did you say?” And I point and say “there’s a bike lane right there, you aren’t supposed to ride your bike here.” He immediately starts cussing at me, tells me that it’s going “the wrong way” there. Now my headphones are out, he’s flipping me off etc and I am like “well it’s a f***ing rotary so you ride around the circle you d***”. It escalates from there and he’s calling me a b**** saying something I can’t understand about my a$$, probably about raping me, because men, and I am telling him he can f*** off and die and he’s wrong. I put my headphones back in and just put my middle finger up and keep walking. He keeps riding a bit and stopping to yell at me, repeatedly, and I just keep my finger up and don’t respond.
I literally wanted to grab him by the shoulders and throw him into traffic.
BECAUSE I AM F***ING RIGHT. YOU, BUCKAROO, DO NOT GET TO BE OUTRAGED AT ME, I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG. And also f*** you for being a f***ing s****y man. And also he rode right past the rotary and down a street still on the sidewalk. I hope he dies in a traffic accident.
Picture for reference.
If you’d like to check out more creepy articles by this utterly terrible human being, you’ll have to find them yourself because I’m not sending any traffic his way. But here are some great tweets made in response to his nonsense. You’re welcome.
‘I NOTICED U AVOIDING EYE CONTACT AND NOT SMILING SO I THOUGHT ID SAY HELLO’ pic.twitter.com/jRQTYO44FF
— DarkSkintDostoyevsky (@daniecal) August 30, 2016
How To Talk To A Woman Who Is Crawling Out Of A Well Towards You
— finnegans.wikia (@ElSangito) August 30, 2016
Guys, don’t let this headphones thing mislead you, women that aren’t wearing them probably don’t want to talk to you either
— Ash Warner (@AlsBoy) August 30, 2016
~Quick tips for men~
How to approach me when I’m wearing headphones: don’t
How to approach me when I’m not wearing headphones: don’t
— Cactus Mom (@katyhxwxll) August 31, 2016
And here is another article about this.
That story has nothing to do with headphones. Nothing. What a terrible example of whatever the hell you are complaining about.
I have decided to kill you.
OMG I hate her and must cause her downfall. She doesn’t get it. “The fact that men are sexual beings can feel threatening.” No, the fact that the guy who wrote the article literally says that “most women” wearing headphones “want” guys to approach them is threatening. GOML, you stupid bitch. #notsorry
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I left a bitchy comment on her article. Thanks a lot, sport.
Sure, blame the man.
Yup, if I have my headphones on, please don’t mess with me. Plus, I can’t hear you anyway. My music is blaring.
LOL I agree, headphones are a great way to “tune out” unwanted attention.
Precisely. And no offense, guys, it’s not just you. It’s everyone. Leave me alone. Ha ha.
I dont want strange men talking to me headphones on or off, if I have them on and notice you trying to talk to me, and I still dont take them out, then yes, I am ignoring you and for a reason.
Thank you. Recently I was sitting outside eating my lunch with my headphones on, after this all happened, and some guy literally came up and stood in front of me and tried to talk to me. I just said “no” and went back to my lunch. Why? No.
Yep if I have my headphones on and that means I do not want to be bothered. Do not bother me because I’m busy listening to music and being happy.
i.e. being happy is not talking to random strangers, go away. Yes.
I can’t believe that guy on the bike talked to you like that. You certainly are brave, woman! After an altercation like that I probably would have walked into a store or something just to get away from him. I don’t typically wear headphones, but I will use my cellphone the same way. I’m not interested. Leave me alone!
Maybe I am jaded from living in a city for too long but I just can’t bear to take crap from anyone. If you’re a jerk to me I’m going to yell at you and make a scene, the end. Ha.
Headphones are a great way to tune out unwanted noise and people!
Headphones are great when you are trying to focus on something. They do have good uses!
They do! Hey, maybe I am listening to an audio book, a podcast, watching a movie, or just listening to music. It doesn’t matter, strange men, what I’m not doing is inviting you to talk to me.
So true and so annoying! I wear headphones all the time and actually carry two pairs with me for fear of me not having one. It is SO maddening when men feel the need to still approach me. Don’t get mad when I am staring at you blankly.
I’ve been halfway to work and realized I forgot my headphones and gone all the way home to get them. I can’t bear a commute both ways without them. No no no.
Goodness. When I have my headphones in, all I’m trying to do is listen to Beyonce. And then when people try to approach me, I just move to a new place (probably rude, but true).
Same! If someone doesn’t take the hint I just get up and walk away.
Hahaha yes!!!!! Head phones in… leave me alone lol
Ha ha. I say if headphones are on leave me alone too.
I mean, who are these imaginary women that clearly do not exist who can’t wait for men to interrupt them for charming conversation? No.
Headphones are always in when I write and it really does signal I am NOT approachable. Yet, people still do and get angry if you do not comply with their rude interruptions…sad
I mean, you are literally blocking out sounds. Why does this mean someone should talk to you? Come on.