File photo of photo

So, as the world slips into WW3, TSG asks the tough questions. Will Friends make a comeback; will Huge Jackman ever learn how to act; and will the Simpsons once again establish itself as prime target for people wearing tin foil hats after the third world war? And, which country is going to come out on top with the best celebrities – once this world has been reduced to a smoldering lump of coal? Will Fu Fan Fuk from China be A list material, or will it be Gorbunchevifcuv Dorenishich from Russia? Who will take on the lead role in the new Friends (in the future to be shown on USSR TV 1) and out of the 150 million Chinese left, who will be able to imitate Matt Groening in the New New Super Simpson (are there even any freemasons in China?)

It’s pretty clear that such a world would suck so I think it’s pretty responsible to ask the future masters of the entertainment industry the Ruski/Chicoms (no, not the Jews) to please preserve America as some sort of wild life sanctuary (specifically Hollywood and New York) so that real Americans can continue to create such classics as Buffy The Teenage Vampire Slayer and Superman 1 & 2 and X-Men… which the world so desperately needs for inspiration.

So please, our future overloads, help us help you by protecting the US entertainment industry (that includes pornography).

Editor’s Note: Ballsack is 100% fucking crazy and I am terrified to change anything he writes cause I think he knows where I live.