As a champion of justice (and competitive boating) I am constantly trying to help women achieve the equal rights they so desperately need.  Having boobs, while awesome, is not enough to make up for the disparities in wages, big important job having, and general lumberjack activity opportunities.  So I’ve taken it upon myself to try to usher things along by pointing out small things that may hold women back.

And no, I don’t mean fighting institutional sexism or exposing some shadowy ‘old boys network’ conspiring to keep women in the kitchen.  I mean helping by pointing out the things that would actually affect someone’s thought process when they enter a voting booth.  I realize that the Equal Rights Amendment is not really a hot button issue right now but I’m assuming that some chick at some point is going to wonder why her state won’t make it a law that she can’t be discriminated against unless she becomes a lesbian.  And when that time comes, you’ll be prepared with my handy tips.

If you are working on a computer and talking to a man, if you need to ask if you need to close a window, ask: “OK, so close the window?”

Stop saying: “X it out”.

It doesn’t mean anything.  It would be like if a guy asked you how much gas you had and you said “Enough”.  And then later when you ran out of gas you called and said: “It said E!  E stands for Enough!”  The exception to this rule is if you are being cute with your boyfriend or husband or lesbian husband.  And you KNOW you are closing the window but you say X it out anyway.  You know how I know?  Cause if they had made the symbol to close the window a circle with a dot in it you would not all be asking people if you should “Boob it out.”

You’re welcome.

Google is Sexist. Or else women don't use Google a lot. Inequality strikes again!